Happy Birthday my sweet boy!!!

It amazes and astounds me that today is already Quentin's first birthday! Everyone tells you to treasure every moment because they grow up fast. I can attest to the wisdom in this simple yet profound fact. I look at the pictures I took little more than an hour ago and it hits me how much he's already grown in the relatively short time he's been in our lives. Exactly 6 months ago today (almost to the minute, actually!) we were boarding a plane to Los Angeles and then on to Taiwan. We were headed on a long and exciting journey, both literally and metaphorically. We knew it was going to be amazing, but now that I can look back at the past 6 months at all the joy we've experienced, I'm struck with just how clueless we actually were about what wonders lie ahead. It's almost indescribable. As parenthood was handed to us in an instant one day in an orphanage, I remember immediately feeling like I had just been let in on a huge secret or inducted into an elite society. I felt like Pandora peering into the coveted box yet I was also so entrenched in the minutiae of the adoption process that I could only peek and not really wrap my hands around the gift that was being presented to us. But over the past 6 months, I've been able to really enjoy this gift of parenthood-- and I truly feel that it is a precious gift which one ought to cherish and appreciate and feel humbled by.

As I've watched Quentin sit up by himself, then push up on his hands and knees, and progress to creeping and crawling I feel such gratitude for being allowed to witness these life events. As he went from only formula to rice cereal to soupy baby food to eating "people food" by himself, I am just awe-struck and even overwhelmed at how incredible this thing called parenthood really is. My heart soars when he laughs, sinks when he cries, skips a beat when he falls down, aches when he's sick and beats in rhythm to his as he lies with me cheek to cheek, chest to chest and drifts off to sleep. When I walk out of sight and he cries hysterically, I remind myself that although it hurts to hear and can even been frustrating, I have to be thankful for it because it means he loves me. It is proof positive that he has formed as strong an attachment to me as I to him. Without a doubt, he knows that I'm his Mommy. Over these past 6 months I can begin to really appreciate what is meant by that old phrase "a mother's love". I can look knowingly at complete strangers as they glow radiantly at their children. I find myself smiling as I watch other parents with their kids because now I know what it feels like to love another person so completely and I can see it in their faces and hear it in their voices as they share that intense love with their little ones.

In some ways the time has flown. I really have to stop and think about the fact that it's already been 6 months since we boarded that plane. I remember so vividly being on the cusp of parenthood. I swear it was just yesterday! But then in some ways, it feels like Quentin has been a part of me forever. I can't really remember life without him. Than again, as cliche as it may sound, I haven't really ever lived without him because he has been in my heart for as long as I know. He didn't have a physcial form until a year ago today, but I could feel his presence long before then. Actually, I should say I could sorely feel the absence of his presence like a big hole inside of me. Before Quentin, it always felt like something was missing. I always felt anticipatory and restless. But I kdi you not. The moment I held him, that hole began to close. It's totally gone now. He truly does complete me in so many ways.

Well, now that I've spilled my innermost feelings for all the world to read (yikes!), perhaps I should finally get to some pictures! We went to dinner tonight with my parents to celebrate Quentin's birthday. We're having a party on Saturday too. Tonight he ate watermelon, canteloupe, lychee fruit, strawberries, oranges, rice, crackers, mashed potatoes and some banana cake (holy cow!!). It was quite the mess but oh so cute!!